Who's got Botox? Who's got plump?
Does that dress conceal a bump?
Suddenly they're much too thin.

Who's in detox? Spot that rump!
Another singer's got the hump.
Is it real or just real spin?

Chorus:
Don't get all soapy on me,
I've had enough celebrity,
Pass the remote, my little sofa surfer girl.

Boogie men with hearts of lead!
Glamour girl caught giving head!
B-rate actor's sex shop shock!

Perfect couple's charity!
Aging diva's vanity!
Fix it up with Photoshop.

Chorus

New sensation's fake blond curls!
Wrinkly rock star craves young girls!
Singer saves a continent!

Hip-hop gangster buys more bling!
Teen star loses everything!
Infomercials pay the rent.
Chorus