Who's got Botox? Who's got plump?
    Does that dress conceal a bump?
    Suddenly they're much too thin.

    Who's in detox? Spot that rump!
    Another singer's got the hump.
    Is it real or just real spin?

    Chorus:
    Don't get all soapy on me,
    I've had enough celebrity,
    Pass the remote, my little sofa surfer girl.

    Boogie men with hearts of lead!
    Glamour girl caught giving head!
    B-rate actor's sex shop shock!

    Perfect couple's charity!
    Aging diva's vanity!
    Fix it up with Photoshop.

    Chorus

    New sensation's fake blond curls!
    Wrinkly rock star craves young girls!
    Singer saves a continent!

    Hip-hop gangster buys more bling!
    Teen star loses everything!
    Infomercials pay the rent.
    Chorus